Who Am I & What Do I Do With That?

By Daija Prather, MA, LCMHCA, NCC

Identity is a complex and multifaceted concept that shapes who we are and how we navigate the world. It's not just about knowing ourselves on a surface level, but understanding the deeper layers that make us unique individuals. Our identity is influenced by various factors, including our sexuality, culture, age, and geographical location. Each of these elements plays a crucial role in shaping our experiences, perspectives, and ultimately, our sense of self.

Understanding our identity is crucial for our mental health and overall well-being. When we have a clear sense of who we are, we are better equipped to make decisions that align with our values and goals. However, the journey to self-discovery can be challenging, especially when we face societal pressures and expectations that may conflict with our true selves.

Sexuality, for instance, is a fundamental aspect of our identity that influences our relationships, behaviors, and self-perception. Cultural background provides us with traditions, beliefs, and values that shape our worldview and interactions with others. Age brings different stages of life, each with its own set of challenges and opportunities for self-exploration. Geographical location impacts our identity by exposing us to different environments, communities, and social norms.

In this post, we will explore how these intersecting factors contribute to the formation of our identity. We'll discuss the impact they have on our mental health and well-being, and how therapy can be a valuable tool in navigating the complexities of our identity. By understanding the diverse elements that shape who we are, we can embark on a more fulfilling and authentic journey of self-discovery.

Identity and Mental Health

Our identity significantly influences our mental health and well-being. Struggling with identity can lead to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and depression. For many, these struggles are rooted in societal conditioning and internalized beliefs about flaws or perceived shortcomings.

Breaking Conditioning:

Society often imposes certain expectations and norms that can shape our self-perception. Breaking free from these conditioning factors is a crucial step in developing a healthy sense of identity. This involves questioning and challenging the beliefs and values that have been imposed on us, allowing us to define ourselves on our own terms.

Accepting One’s Self:

Self-acceptance is a vital component of mental health. It means embracing all parts of ourselves, including the flaws or traits we've been conditioned to view negatively. This acceptance is not about ignoring these aspects but acknowledging and integrating them into our self-concept.

Flaws or Perceived Flaws:

Often, what we consider flaws are actually unique aspects of our identity. By reframing these traits, we can see them as strengths or opportunities for growth. This shift in perspective can significantly improve our mental well-being.

Gaining Acceptance through Mindfulness:

Mindfulness practices can help us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, leading to greater self-acceptance. By observing our inner experiences without judgment, we can develop a more compassionate and accepting attitude towards ourselves.

Identity Exploration in Therapy

Therapy provides a safe space for individuals to explore and understand their identity. Through various therapeutic approaches, clients can gain deeper insights into their true selves and work towards self-acceptance.

Connection to Spirit or Inner Knowing:

Some therapeutic approaches encourage clients to connect with their inner knowing or spiritual self. This connection can serve as a powerful guide in the journey of self-discovery and identity formation. It helps individuals align their actions and decisions with their authentic selves.

Breaking Conditioning in Therapy:

Therapists can help clients identify and challenge conditioned beliefs that no longer serve them. This process involves exploring the origins of these beliefs and developing new, healthier ways of thinking and being.

Mindfulness and Self-Acceptance:

Mindfulness-based therapies, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), can be particularly effective in fostering self-acceptance. These approaches teach clients to observe their thoughts and feelings with curiosity and compassion, promoting a more positive self-view.

Tips for Readers

Here are some practical tips for readers who want to explore their own identity and enhance their mental health:

1. Reflect on Conditioning:

• Take time to reflect on the beliefs and values you hold. Ask yourself which ones truly resonate with you and which ones feel imposed by external sources.

2. Practice Self-Acceptance:

• Make a list of traits you consider flaws. For each trait, write down how it has shaped you positively or how it might be a strength in certain situations.

3. Engage in Mindfulness:

• Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. This could be through meditation, mindful breathing, or simply being present in the moment.

4. Connect with Your Inner Self:

• Spend time in activities that help you connect with your inner knowing or spiritual self. This could include journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.

5. Seek Support:

• Consider working with a therapist who can guide you in exploring your identity and breaking free from conditioning. Therapy can provide a supportive environment to navigate these complex processes.

6. Reframe Perceived Flaws:

• When you catch yourself focusing on a perceived flaw, try to reframe it in a positive light. Consider how this aspect of yourself contributes to your uniqueness and strengths.

7. Cultivate Compassion:

• Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that everyone has flaws and that they do not diminish your worth.

Call to Action

I hope this exploration of identity has resonated with you and provided valuable insights. If you're looking to delve deeper into your own journey of self-discovery and acceptance, I would be honored to support you. Please feel free to reach out to schedule a session or to learn more about how therapy can help you on this path. Together, we can work towards embracing your true self and living a more fulfilling life.

Take Care,  

Daija Prather, MA, LCMHCA, NCC