If It’s From the Neck Up
By Dr. Todd Matson, D.Min., M.Div., LMFT
When you’re sick, if it’s from the neck down, people will tell you to seek treatment, see a doctor,
follow the doctor’s orders, take your medicine, take care of yourself, use every medical resource
to get well. If it’s just skin deep, see a dermatologist. For heart trouble, a cardiologist. For
coughing and wheezing, a pulmonologist. For kidney disease, a nephrologist. For liver disease,
a hepatologist. For stomach trouble, a gastroenterologist. For diabetes, an endocrinologist. For
autoimmune disorders, an immunologist. For muscle and joint pain, a rheumatologist. For blood
diseases, a hematologist. For cancer, an oncologist.
If it’s from the neck up, however, when you’re feeling anxious, afraid, insecure, sad, stressed,
depressed, lonely, discouraged, confused or overwhelmed, you might receive a different
message: “suck it up,” “shake it off,” “get over it,” “put some dirt on it and move on,” “don’t
worry about it,” “put it out of your mind,” “stop feeling sorry for yourself,” “don’t be a crybaby,”
“stop your whining.”
If it’s from the neck up, societal stereotypes may cast a shadow over any genuine understanding of your actual needs. There are people who still subscribe to old stereotypes. They may guilt
and shame you for being “weak,” for wallowing in self-pity. Never mind that your brain, that
three-pound soft tissue organ in your head, is as much a part of our body as your heart, lungs,
kidneys, liver, pancreas, stomach, intestines, arms and legs, muscles, bones and joints.
This begs the question, if suffering from the neck up makes us weak, does that mean some the
greatest heroes in the history of salvation were just weak?
King David suffered from depression for years. Just read through the book of Psalms. “I am
worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch
with tears” (Psalm 6:6). “My tears have been my food day and night” (Psalm 42:3). David was
so grief-stricken, anxious and depressed when his child was sick that he laid on the ground for
days. He refused to get up and refused to eat. When David’s child died, the elders of his
household were afraid to tell him for fear that he might harm himself (2 Samuel 12:16-18).
Was David weak? Or was he as human from the neck up as he was from the neck down?
The prophet Elijah suffered from depression. When Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, took out a
contract to have Elijah killed, he was so traumatized and terrified that he ran for his life, hid in
the desert, sat down under a bush and asked to die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he prayed. “Let
me die” (1 Kings 19:4)
Was Elijah weak? Or was he as human from the neck up as he was from the neck down?
God’s faithful servant Job suffered from depression. Job suffered unspeakable catastrophic
losses. He lost all his material possessions. Even worse, he lost all his children. He was
completely devastated and grief-stricken. As if this wasn’t already more than anyone could bear,
for icing on the cake he suffered from prolonged and incapacitating physical illness. He became
so severely depressed that he asked God why he didn’t just die as soon as he was born (Job 3:11).
Was Job weak? Or was he as human from the neck up as he was from the neck down?
The prophet Jeremiah was chronically depressed. Jeremiah was terrorized by being relentlessly
pursued by his enemies. He had been imprisoned, severely whipped and beaten, publicly
humiliated with his head and hands locked in a wooden frame, and told he would be executed.
He was thrown into a cistern full of muddy water and left to die. Jeremiah suffered from such
severe psychological and emotional trauma, isolation and loneliness, insecurity, panic attacks and
uncontrollable crying episodes that he wished he had never been born (Jeremiah 20:14-18).
Jeremiah came to be known as the “weeping prophet.”
Was Jeremiah weak? Or was he as human from the neck up as he was from the neck down?
The apostle Paul knew what it was to feel depressed. The amount of violence, trauma and
hardship that Paul suffered would give anyone posttraumatic stress. Time and again, Paul was
severely beaten with whips and rods. He was imprisoned, stoned by an angry mob, shipwrecked
and stranded all day and night in the open sea. He was robbed, had to hide in a basket and be
lowered down through a hole in the wall to escape being arrested and killed. He went days at a
time without food or water, he was out in the cold without clothes, he was frequently sick (2
Corinthians 11:23-33). Can you imagine how depressed Paul became? We don’t have to
imagine. Paul tells us: “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, of the affliction
we experienced…for we were so utterly, unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself” (2
Corinthians 1:8).
Was Paul weak? Or was he as human from the neck up as he was from the neck down?
Do you think that Jesus, God in human form, knew what it was to feel depressed? Jesus, in the
garden, as he was waiting to be arrested, tortured, crucified and executed for being guilty of
nothing but loving us, said: “My anguish is so great that I feel as if I’m dying” (Matthew 26:38).
In anguish, he prayed, “Father, if it is your will, take this cup [of suffering] away from me”
(Luke 26:42). Jesus didn’t want to suffer, but as “his sweat became like drops of blood falling to
the ground” (Luke 22:44), he chose to give himself up for us. On the cross, as Jesus was dying,
he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46).
The prophet Isaiah said that Jesus was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (53:3).
Jesus suffered for us. Jesus died for us. Jesus did as Isaiah said he did. Jesus took our suffering
on himself and felt our pain for us (Isaiah 53:4).
While Jesus certainly knew what it was to feel depressed, it would make no sense to call Jesus
weak. That Jesus took our pain and suffering into his own heart, mind and soul and died in our
place required courage and strength and a capacity for love beyond anything we can imagine.
Jesus has shown us that our capacity for love comes not merely from the neck down, but from
the neck up, that love is a choice, and that even under the most heartbreaking, mentally
exhausting and soul crushing circumstances, we can still find the courage and strength to love.
Because our heart – our emotions; and our mind – our thoughts and understanding; and our soul
– our spiritual core – are all interconnected. Because our soul, which encompasses our heart and
mind – everything we are as a person, is housed in the three-pound soft tissue organ in our head
where we can make choices.
This is true. Modern neuroscience is teaching us that our brain is the hardware of our soul.
Psychiatrist Daniel Amen has done extensive research by using SPECT brain imaging to scan the
living, thinking brain. In his book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Amen says: “Your
brain is the hardware of your soul. It is the hardware of your very essence as a human being. You
cannot be who you really want to be unless your brain works right.” It just so happens that
Daniel Amen is also a person of faith.
Someone may ask: If the brain is the hardware of the soul, then what happens to the souls of
those who suffer from traumatic brain injuries or dementia? What if they lose so many brain
cells that they don’t seem to be themselves anymore and they can’t even remember who you are?
If the brain is the hardware of the soul, what happens when we die?
What happens if I drop my cell phone so many times that it no longer works? What happens if
the hardware is damaged beyond repair? While that is not what I want, I have lost nothing but
the hardware, because all my contacts, precious photos and memories of loved ones, all my
important documents, all the things I can’t live without are saved in the cloud.
Paul said: “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with
immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: ‘Death has been swallowed up in
victory’” (1 Corinthians 15:54). Again, Paul said: “For we know that if the earthly tent we live
in [our physical body] is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house [an eternal
body] in heaven, not built by human hands” (2 Corinthians 5:1).
Apparently, we are all in store for an upgrade. In the meantime, what if it feels like something in
our brain, the hardware of our soul, is not working right and it is not well with our soul? What if
we are struggling with feeling stressed, anxious or depressed?
Let’s look at the hardware. We can see the tracks of mental and emotional suffering in the
neuropathways of the living, thinking brain. By scanning the brain, we can see which parts of
the brain are active, overactive and underactive. We can detect changes in blood flow and see
which parts of the brain light up with activity and which parts remain dark from inactivity.
What we often see in a stressed, anxious or depressed brain is an imbalance between an
underactive prefrontal cortex – the thinking center of our brain capable of regulating emotions,
stabilizing moods, managing impulses and coping with stress – and an overactive amygdala –
the part of our brain that processes emotions, especially fear and anger. When our amygdala
senses danger, it makes split-second decisions about whether to go into fight, flight, freeze or
fawn, and triggers a release of stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol – to prepare our body
for action.
Our amygdala plays a role in self-preservation by activating faster than any other part of our
brain, often within 50 milliseconds, to trigger fear responses and protect against threats. We just
don’t want our amygdala to be trigger happy and call all the shots. We are more balanced when
our prefrontal cortex and amygdala are working together, when our “thinking brain” and
“emotional brain” are open to each other’s influence, when our head and our heart get along.
This is what we call “wise mind.”
Thankfully, we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Our brain has 100 billion
nerve cells, as many as the stars in our milky way. Serotonin, a feel-good neurotransmitter
chemical, is part of the transportation system in our brain. Serotonin carries signals between the
nerve cells in our brain, and serotonin can walk and chew gum at the same time. Serotonin helps
to calm down our amygdala’s alarm signals so we are not going into fight, flight, freeze or fawn
every time someone sneezes, while it also helps our prefrontal cortex to regulate emotions,
stabilize moods, manage our impulses and cope with stress so we can feel more emotionally
balanced, stable and calm.
Unfortunately, stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol – can lead to a serotonin deficiency.
Prolonged periods of stress can deplete serotonin levels in our brain. When that happens it can
feel like our prefrontal cortex got hijacked by our amygdala. This is what is happening when we
are suffering from anxiety or depression.
Now it may feel like we are going around the block to take a few steps forward, but if we believe
that “our body is the temple of the Holy Spirt,” the place where God lives, like Paul said it is (1
Corinthians 6:19), and if we believe that our brain is part of our body, how can we not ask what
can we do to help our brain – the hardware of our soul – to work right?
We can make 10 lifestyle changes to reduce stress and relieve symptoms of anxiety and
depression. They all have something in common. They all have the potential to increase
serotonin levels in our brain.
1. Healthy eating habits. Have you ever had butterflies in your stomach when you’re
nervous? That shows your brain and gut are connected through your nervous system.
The vagus nerve is one of the biggest nerves connecting your gut to your brain.
Healthy eating habits can stimulate your vagus nerve to move your body, which
includes your brain, from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest.
2. Healthy sleep habits. Teens typically need between 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night.
A CDC report shows only about 1 in 5 U.S. teens gets enough sleep. Teens need
more sleep because their brain is still growing and sleep is fuel for that growth. The
prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is the most underdeveloped in adolescents
and is not fully grown and mature until age 25. The amygdala, on the other hand,
reaches its greatest size during puberty. For sleep deprived teens, what could possibly
go wrong?
3. Mindfulness meditation and prayer. Make it a daily practice to be present, to be here
now, in this place, in this time, to give yourself a break from ruminating about the past
or worrying about the future. It can be very calming to be present and still before God,
to be mindful of how God, the ultimate source of unconditional love and acceptance, is
present with you. Think, “don’t just do something, sit there.”
4. Exercise. Elevating your heart rate for 30 minutes five days a week can elevate your
mood. There really is something to the “runner’s high.” Since running is not for
everyone, any kind of aerobic activity that elevates your heart rate can help.
5. Sunlight. Studies show that 20 to 30 minutes of sunlight each day can elevate mood.
On cloudy days or during the winter when the days are shorter and nights are longer,
indoor light therapy can help. The use of a light box with 10,000 lux of full-spectrum
light for 30 minutes each morning can lift your mood.
6. Relaxation exercises. Deep and slow breathing and muscle relaxation exercises can
calm your amygdala’s threat response by activating the vagus nerve to reduce stress
hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which can help you relax. As little as 5
minutes of deep, slow breathing or 10 minutes of muscle relaxation can help.
7. Being active. Engage in activities that provide enjoyment or a sense of
accomplishment. Simply doing something productive or fun can distract from anxious
and negative thoughts, reduce tension and stress, elevate mood. Think, “don’t just sit
there, do something.”
8. Social connection. Research shows that 9 out of 10 teens use social media daily, and
that teens who spend 3 or more hours a day on social media report a 70% increase in
depression symptoms. Experts believe that this shows that connecting with peers
electronically is less emotionally meaningful than connecting with friends in person,
that “likes” on a screen feel superficial in comparison with being liked in face-to-face
interactions. Factor in the “perfect body” images promoted in social media and how
this serves as a breeding ground for body dysphoria and eating disorders in teen girls,
the cyberbullying and predatory sexting often encountered on social media, and we
can see how the more teens rely on social media for social connection, the lonelier and
more depressed they often feel. Research also shows that regular interactions with
family and friends who care can relieve the loneliness and isolation that can be a
breeding ground for depression.
9. Talk therapy. Talking to a licensed professional can help you work through traumatic
experiences, painful memories and emotions when you are feeling stuck or trapped in
feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, anger, self-hate, discouragement or despair. Therapy
can help you heal and gain better self-understanding, a positive self-image, higher self-
esteem and a greater sense of personal worth. When therapy is effective, you feel
more powerful for having gone through it.
10. Medication. Yes. Medication can help from the neck up as well as from the neck
down. Medication is as different from therapy as a life jacket is different from a
swimming instructor. When someone is far from shore and on the verge of drowning,
a life jacket would be helpful. A life jacket alone, however, can’t teach anyone how to
swim. For that, a swimming instructor would be helpful. Medication is not a
substitute for therapy. Medication can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and
depression, but medication alone cannot help anyone work through the problems that
gave rise to those symptoms. For that, therapy is most helpful.
Remember that you are as human from the neck up as you are from the neck down. If you are
hurting, anxious or depressed, you deserve to be taken seriously, to be treated with empathy,
compassion and respect. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness as lingering societal
stereotypes would have us believe. Some of the greatest heroes in salvation history knew what it
was to feel depressed, including Jesus himself. You may feel heartbroken, mentally exhausted,
as if your soul has been crushed. It may feel easier to withdraw into a shell and hide. Reach out
instead. Reaching out is a sign courage and strength. You are so much more than your
symptoms. You were made for love, to give it, to receive it. You are worth it. You are worth
being cared for from head to toe.
