One of the human qualities that helps us to measure mental health is the capacity to be alone. This varies from person to person, throughout life, and according to our situation. Americans are not the best at this. We listen to music, watch TV, and move from one trivial task to another to avoid being alone with ourselves. Even a thirty-second pause to be quiet can be difficult for many. But tolerating aloneness for a time can be useful, especially when no one is available to be with us.
On the other hand, whether we look at people psychologically or theologically, we discover all human beings are created for relationship. After creating Adam in the Garden of Eden, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” And so, another person, Eve, was created so they would be partners with one another. Solitary confinement can be a hard punishment. Time alone for reflection, meditation, thinking, or sitting silently is very useful to our well-being. But isolation for long periods of time can be both painful and harmful. That is a present concern that doctors and counselors are now discovering in their patients. Many Americans are part of the current epidemic of isolation; painful aloneness leading to loneliness. It's a terrible feeling to experience for very long and can lead to medical illness, mental illness, erosion of cognitive abilities, and loss of social skills.
There is a story of a prisoner in Alcatraz who was sentenced to solitary confinement without light or sound. After a day or two of this, it began to be a grueling punishment. But the prisoner found a way to keep his sanity. He tore a button from his shirt, moved himself to the front of the cell on hands and knees, and flipped the button over his shoulder in the darkness of the cell. Then, he would see how quickly he could find the button. He did this over and over, trying to keep his mind. And he found it actually helped.
A good resolution for us in this new year is to spend quality time with ourselves and to also find ways to improve and expand our relationships with others. We are never too old to start this process. It will help to balance our lives, give us comfort and support, and perhaps make us feel better about the world.
