The Loss of a Grandchild

By Rev. Patricia Humphries-Bivens

I am a retired pastor of the United Methodist Church and I suffered the greatest pain of my life when our eleven-year-old grandson transitioned to heaven on April 19th, 2020.  He was on his bike, pedaling hard to get home, only a block away, when he was struck and killed by a car. We were on the back porch of our home when I received the call.  I could do nothing but scream my heart out to the top of my lungs, over and over again. “Oh my God, it can’t be true!”

When our grandson left this earth, it was like my whole world stopped with the pulsating of my life. Nothing would ever be the same! I continually ached in my trembling soul for him. I now know that the totality of missing him will never completely go away, but I have developed skills taught to me by my counselor. I started my therapy only two weeks after my grandson’s death and I continued for a year and a half. I discontinued my sessions with the understanding that I could call my therapist if I needed further assistance. I believe that I could not have progressed to my present state of living without the myriad of prayers for our family and the compassionate, brilliant guidance from my counselor, who showed me how to move on to the next day and the next day. Yes, it was a difficult process; I cried a lot, but I also, in time gained the ability to smile about my grandson’s life and celebrate him even in his absence. 

When my therapist suggested that I do something to remember our grandson; my husband and I planted a tree in our back yard and named it after him, because he loved climbing the trees there. I have never been more greatly blessed by God and people, like my therapist, who showed me the light of their compassionate care. If you come to a place of devastating pain in your life, may you be blessed “with the healing of heart, mind, and soul” by the therapists at Sanctuary Counseling Group, God bless you in all your life.