Why Self-Care?
Megan Clark, M.A., LCMHCA
Self-care is something most women did not grow up learning about. We weren’t taught it or modeled it. No wonder most of the women who show up in my counseling office have not developed good self-care strategies. Most of them admit they feel selfish when they put their own needs or wants before those of their family, even in something like pursuing counseling. I often ask:
What messages did you receive growing up about self-care? Either directly or indirectly? From family or society or even TV?
Do you remember anyone modeling it for you growing up? Can you think of any good role models in your life when it comes to self-care? If so, what does self-care look like for them?
The fact is, women suffer from substantially higher rates of anxiety and depression than their male counterparts. I believe a lot of this stems from the pressure on women to do it all, to be everything for everyone to the detriment of their own health and well-being. A good self-care routine is essential in managing anxiety and depression. I often use an illustration that seems to resonate - we are like batteries that must be recharged. Self-care is how we recharge and how we recharge will be unique to each of us. For some (typically extroverts), time spent with others is recharging, while for others time spent alone is recharging (typically introverts). Spending time recharging is actually one of the most selfless acts we can do because it allows us to be more there for the ones we love, rather than drained. Our self-care routine is the refuge we create for ourselves - and we must create it because no one else will.
Another way to look at self-care is as a puzzle. Each piece of your puzzle is going to represent the various things you as an individual need in order to thrive. Some pieces will address your physical health needs such as nutrition, sleep, rest and exercise. Other puzzle pieces will address your spiritual and emotional needs, such as prayer, meditation, worship, and/or journaling. Other pieces will address relational needs such as friendships, partnerships and the amount of time you spend alone versus with others. So what about you? What about your life is congruent with who you are and what you need right now in this season of life? What isn’t? If nothing feels congruent, can you remember a time when it was? What was different then? What puzzle pieces are missing for you right now? I encourage you to take a few minutes to consider these questions and maybe even write down a list of your “puzzle pieces” so that you can begin looking for ways to incorporate self-care into your life on a daily basis. If you need a little help getting started, this website has some wonderful printable self-care cards you can print off and begin using today: (http://mindfulcreativestudio.com/how-not-to-let-anxiety-rule-your-life/)
