Perspectives
SCG Staff Articles
Prayer From the Diagnostic Donut Hole
If ever I am overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, panic, be my xanax, not that I would be sedated or sleepwalk through life, but that I would awaken to the distinction between true threats and irrational fears and find the courage to have a seat at the table You have prepared for me in the presence of my enemies.
Say Goodbye To Resentment And The Selfishness Silencing Critic
Over time, silence can become the first response to any potential conflict. At the same time, resentment may build up when needs don't appear to be understood. Learning to use boundaries when others are disrespectful or angry during conflict can become a key to preventing resentment. It also can help you to take steps toward living in greater freedom from The Selfishness Silencing Critic.
Women’s Mental & Emotional Health
In celebration of Women's History Month, it is crucial to highlight the importance of women's mental health and the significant role it plays. Being a woman with good mental health is not only a personal triumph but also contributes to a broader narrative of empowerment and resilience.
It’s As Easy As 5,4,3,2,1
While resting on a bench with my wife in the middle of a silent meadow in the mountains of North Carolina, I noticed a loud buzzing sound. Being the curious individual I am, I was determined to find out exactly where this noise was coming from. Looking around, I noticed a bumblebee flying 10 yards away, and I was struck by just how loud the noise of that one bumblebee was when all the other noises were stripped away. I was able to track the bee with just my ears while following its buzz as it moved from leaf to leaf.
Spending Time Alone and with Others
Time alone for reflection, meditation, thinking, or sitting silently is very useful to our well-being. But isolation for long periods of time can be both painful and harmful. That is a present concern that doctors and counselors are now discovering in their patients. Many Americans are part of the current epidemic of isolation; painful aloneness leading to loneliness.
Love Connection
It turns out that subtly telling one another “hey, pay attention to me!” is one of the most common things we do in relationships with one another as humans…and…how we handle that moment can have profound effects on the health and future of our relationships and marriages.
If you want to know one simple, concrete thing you can do to improve your relationship with your partner TODAY - read this post.
Linked to Everything
Elementally, physically, psychologically and spiritually we are very much like the rest of the world. We even share large segments of DNA patterns with animals. We cannot exist without bacteria. Viruses help to control killer bacteria. All this renders those “us vs. them” arguments meaningless. It’s all US! God has linked us to everything and everyone, even to Godself.
Blessed are we who have ears to hear and eyes to see.
How Are the Children
Recently I met with some parents and grandparents of school age children to talk about some of their concerns. We began by naming many of the stressors families are dealing with now. We listed finances, safety (school, home and online) social climate, health, parent separation/divorce, death of close family member gun violence, major illness, parent's incarceration, socialization skills of children, loneliness, body image and social media, changing family size/family growth, intergenerational divides, world perspective, moral/spiritual values being handed down or not, technology, grandparents raising grandchildren, childcare, death by suicide. This list could go on and on. Today’s children and youth are encountering unprecedented challenges/stressors
I’m Not Your Black Superwoman
For most of my life, I always strived to be the quote-on-quote “Strong Black Woman”.
A woman who exudes strength.
A woman who is fierce and protective of her own.
A woman who takes care of everyone and everything without remorse,
A Black Superwoman.
A New Year?
A year is a year, no matter where it starts. In fact, every day presents us with newness, indeed every minute. Ultimately this means we have a constant flow of opportunities to use as we choose. All we need to do is to be aware of opportunities and choose to take advantage of them....When the burden is heavy, the pain intense, the work difficult, it becomes easy to think about giving up. But as the 60’s song went, “tomorrow’s gonna be another day.” Choosing action can be difficult and may require courage. But action can turn new moments and opportunities into good things, perhaps great things.
Happy Holidays 2022
Sanctuary Counseling Group wishes everyone a happy holiday season and, for those who celebrate, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Have a wonderful holiday season, stay safe, and enjoy your community! Come see us again in the new year! We are here.
A Heart of Gratitude: Holiday Edition
Living in a state of gratitude is focusing on what we have rather than what we lack. It is our never-ending choice to take the time to pause and appreciate the things we often take for granted. Remembering to rejoice always in times of sorrow and in times of joy. Remembering to love our neighbors as we love ourselves while being grateful for those who paved the way and poured into our lives.
Domestic Violence Awareness
Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence", can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
National Depression & Mental Health Screening Month
As mental illness further establishes itself within the public consciousness, more and more people have begun feeling comfortable sharing their stories. One of the most common mental health challenges that people face is depression. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in 2020, about 21 million adults in the US or 8.4% of the population experienced a depressive episode. Surely many of us resonate with difficulties coping with challenges that have arisen as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Teenage Bullying
It’s not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. It’s skipping lunch to hide in the bathroom. It’s never speaking up in class. Bullying looks different for everyone who experiences it. While bullying isn’t exclusive to any age it can be incredibly difficult for one age group, in particular, teenagers. One out of every five students reports experiencing bullying (CDC). This level of prevalence is upsetting, but also incredibly useful to understand. Our teens need our help.
National Substance Abuse Prevention Month 2022
October is National Substance Abuse Prevention month in the United States. I’m sure if you follow the news, you have heard about the rise in recent years in drug abuse, drug overdose, and drug-related deaths in the United States. In 2020, for example, drug overdose deaths rose nearly 30% from the year before, resulting in over 93,000 fatalities.
Mental Illness Awareness Week 2022
Established in 1990 by Congress, the first full week in each October is Mental Illness Awareness Week. All of us in this country, in one way or another, are affected by mental illness, and if you’re reading this, you no doubt know intimately and personally, the devastating effects thereof. The figures and statistics (1 in 5 adults and 1 in 6 children age 6-17 experience mental illness each year in the US {https://www.nami.org/mhstats}) are so large that it’s almost impossible to take in, to comprehend the scope of the issue.
Reflections On Wellness
After two years of pandemic life, it feels easy to focus on what is going wrong in the world. “I’ve got a runny nose this morning: is it allergies or the plague?” is a thought I’ve had many times of late. That pervasive sense of needing to question our safety is exhausting. Maybe we’re feeling like nothing is going “right” and all the places where we seek solace are crumbling. Sometimes there is a discernible cause such as the death of a loved one or rejection from a school we applied to, but other times the cause of our “unwellness” seems less clear. Difficult seasons are part of life and that’s okay, but they sure get exhausting after a while.
Saying Goodbye
Let’s face it. There is nothing harder than saying goodbye. Whether it is the process of grieving a loved one, moving away from your chosen family or even ending an evening with friends---we all struggle with how to say goodbye. I see our society’s issues with goodbyes throughout my counseling practice. Working with people on why it hurts so much to be ghosted by a date or a friend fighting for time off work after a difficult loss. Sadly, we often avoid the goodbyes in our personal, professional, and even in our therapeutic relationships.
Truthiness and Couples Therapy
Back in 2005, comedian Stephen Colbert created Webster’s word of the year that year on his hit satiric news show The Colbert Report, when he invented the word Truthiness. Truthiness, by definition, is the belief or assertion that a statement is true, based on how true something feels, rather than consulting evidence, logic, facts, or intellectual examination. Stephen Colbert applied this term Truthiness to describe how US politics works, where politicians and talking heads often made strong truth claims based on feelings about what was happening, rather than based on any sort of evidence, or logic to back up those claims (and I have to say, it doesn’t seem like the last 17 years has been marked by a decline in thinking rooted in Truthiness).