Managing Screen Time for Children and Teens: A Family Approach
JoAnn Mullinix, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate (LMFTA)
A Reminder
Today, I learned from my ten-year old to surf “ incognito”; just press Control-Shift-N. When asked how he learned this, he informed me that he tried different combinations during computer work at school and “figured it out.” He also told me he is not sure what an incognito tab does. This momma’s heart winced. The vastness of media is the root of many parents’ fears.
All or Nothing
In life, it can be beneficial to quickly categorize threats. A coyote in the yard means I am getting my kids and heading in the house, but for squirrels we generally giggle and continue on with our day. Our culture has left many of us ill-equipped to determine if media is friend or foe. Articles with headlines like “Opinion: Social media is as harmful as alcohol and drugs for millennials” (Tony Rao for Phys.org, 2017) and “Is social media bad for you? The evidence and the unknowns” (Jessica Brown for BBC.com, 2018) allude to the fear-based approach that many Americans take when thinking about media. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” The truth is, media and digital devices are not the enemy or the thief. They may be an integral part in living the abundant life that God has for us.
Where to Begin
When the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, God sent The Ten Commandments to guide them in living. If you find yourself in an overwhelming wilderness regarding media, turn back to those same guidelines. How do you personally apply each commandment to media in your life? How does your family? How do you hope your children will? These conversations can be collaborative and restorative. Boundary-setting is an essential part of effective parenting and living. That goes for media as well. The American Academy of Pediatrics says, “Today's children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices. To help kids make wise media choices, parents should develop a Family Media Use Plan for everyone in their family.” Start there: https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/Pages/Media-and-Children.aspx You will find an interactive tool that will help you manage your child’s time--including media time.
Another great resource is https://www.pluggedin.com/ which is provided by Focus on the Family, a Christian resource for families. Here you will find reviews on movies, TV, music, games, and books.
The Journey
As an adult, your relationship will continue to change with media. Your children’s relationship will also shift as they transition through life’s many stages. In every season, media can be an ally. If you would like more help in discerning specific application, gaming platform, or cell phone parameters for your child, reach out to one of our counselors today. Stay tuned as we will be bringing Media Equipping Workshops to some of our site locations soon.
