Mental Health for Men in Modern Society
Liz Minton, M.A., LCSWA
Mental health is still very much a taboo topic in the year 2022. In this most recent decade, a lot has been done to make mental health issues more accepted, acknowledged, and understood. However, as a society, we are still very much in the dark when it comes to issues regarding mental health. I see evidence of this everywhere I go, whether it’s on Tik Tok where pop psychology misinformation mongering is rampant, or in the news where horrible acts of violence are frequently misattributed to mental illness. We need to talk about these issues and keep talking about them until they are fully understood, mental illness is fully acknowledged as an illness in its own right, and treatment is no longer stigmatized.
But as the title of this piece indicates I’m not just interested in seeing society improve broadly in this regard. I’m worried about the men in our lives. Some would argue that men have received much more attention regarding their health in our patriarchal society. I would agree, but only as far as strictly physical health is concerned. Our men, sons, uncles, fathers, brothers, and friends have suffered under the same yoke of discrimination against mental illness. For the last millennia, for all their freedoms in other regards, they still were forced to hide and pretend that serious problems were nothing. That being different is wrong and any sign of “weakness” or more accurately in need of help, was a moral failing. The weight of this burden can be crushing, much like the weight of traditionalist feminine culture is for women.
I think it is something that many of us can relate to. At one point or another, we have all encountered this piece of toxic masculinity that so devalues personal well-being and condemns bearing anything but the weight of the world on one's shoulders. I see it often among heterosexual couples. The female partner wants to be close to their partner but their male counterpart just can’t bring themselves to be vulnerable. They have been taught it’s wrong to be open about things they are struggling with, that mental illness is either not real or not real for men.
So what does this mean for us now? What is our responsibility as a society, as practitioners, as mothers, as sisters, as partners to men? On a more personal level, it means we need to encourage them. We are there to tell them it’s okay to feel, to struggle with mental health issues, and to seek help. It’s important to help them challenge the ideas taught to them in their youth without demonizing those that taught them these hurtful lessons in the first place. As practitioners, the goal is much the same. Male practitioners can model vulnerability, emotional expression, and openness for their male clients. Female practitioners can model these same behaviors and encourage exploration of feelings previously viewed as “problematic”. And the key is to do all this with a gentleness that foregoes the oppressive attitudes that trapped them in the first place.
As a society, there is a much greater task for us all to undertake. We as a people need to stop propagating stigmas surrounding mental health and encourage men to seek professional help and therapy when they need it. It is important that we help them find their identity and meaning in life that doesn’t involve silently carrying the burden of mental illness. Traditional societal definitions of manhood just don’t make sense anymore and, if we are honest with ourselves, never really did, to begin with. We have a responsibility to each other. Reducing the stigma surrounding mental illness means reducing stigma for everyone. I believe in us and we need to believe in and support each other.
