Say Goodbye To Resentment And The Selfishness Silencing Critic

Sandra Kahn, M.A., LCMHC

I so often hear individuals speak of their desire to love and care for others.  Admirable.  It's surprising how diverse the understanding of love for others can be.  Sometimes folks understand communication of their own needs as "selfish".  This happens especially when the individual finds the person they are communicating with disagrees with them. An old belief may take over, and they silence themselves thinking "I'm probably being selfish and I don't want to hurt anyone. I really do care about others." Over time, silence can become the first response to any potential conflict.  At the same time, resentment may build up when needs don't appear to be understood.  Learning to use boundaries when others are disrespectful or angry during conflict can become a key to preventing resentment.  It also can help you to take steps toward living in greater freedom from The Selfishness Silencing Critic.  In fact, speaking of your own needs can help to free you from resentment and provide a path toward freedom to love with greater authenticity.