Beat Them With Thankfulness
Thomas Barker, M.S., LCMHCA, NCC
Gratitude does not come naturally to me. When people ask me how things are going, I tend to tell them about all the problems I’m having. It feels good to be cynical, almost like you are above the chaos that’s been happening over these past several years. We are trained to focus on attacking the problems rather than enjoying the mercy of everyday life. It’s been easy over this past year to cultivate cynicism. We often notice what’s wrong because it feels most salient, we direct our attention to fixing what is wrong. It might feel like straining against the tide is the only thing we can do.
Within that context, gratitude can be misunderstood as foolishness at best or tacit approval at worst. It is not an invitation toward naivete, rather I believe it directly opposes ignorance. There is a lot of ‘evil’ at work in the world right now. And, truly, there is plenty to worry over, grieve and rage against. I propose that gratitude is the recognition that more things have to be going ‘right’ than ‘wrong’ for you to be alive. Despite the chaos, we can take notice that kindness, gentleness, beauty and compassion are usually easy to find.
Over the summer, I spent one day a week volunteering at a local farm. During this time, I became friends with one of the women who worked there. She told me once about earthworms, how she grew up thinking they were gross. But, since working on a farm she had come to see their beauty, how their activity encourages plant growth, enables farmers to grow healthier crops and contributes to the ecosystem. What’s funny is that while she said this, I took notice of a worm frying in the sun on a brick. Thus, I felt inspired by her to rescue the hapless creature, returning it to the dirt. Since then, I’ve gone out of my way to “save” stranded worms, as goofy that may be.
My best friend, Henri Nouwen, talks about cultivating a spirit of gratitude. “Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint.” (Nouwen (1992). Return of the Prodigal Son.) Despite the ever-present darkness, mercies abound. Some things that I am grateful for this year: The Sun, my desk chair, Lowes Frozen Pizzas, earthworms, a functional car, my housemates, my job, the ability to walk, sad music, the book Dune, paved roads, potatoes, the podcast Scene on Radio, the opportunity to serve others, ginger and turmeric tea, nights around the firepit, the smell of coffee, access to running water, comfortable clothes, the Cardiacs album Sing to God and trees. You may have to look in the margins, it may not come easily, you may feel “naked” doing it, but what mercies have you been offered today? If you really want to “stick it” to the agents of chaos, show them how powerless they are.
